Listen up, my friends. Please note, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A SUCCESSFUL LOVING RELATIONSHIP if you have a just in case it doesn’t work out man or woman around or on the side. That cushion person or the one who you will pass the time away with when your main squeeze is unavailable.
This person is usually the one that really cares about you and you have no doubt about this. They will always be there for you in between relationships or during difficult times in your current relationship. They encourage you, make you feel good in everyway, gets you off sexually, buys you things, feeds you, but just do not fit your personal profile or the image of the person you feel you deserve; meaning he or she is not the person you want to be seen with in many cases.
I can not tell you of the countless emails I get from hurt individuals telling me about their love interest who has either disappeared, call things off or got caught seeing another person. These emails are heart breaking and I can feel the pain of these individuals. But guess what?
The first question I usually asked them is about that “just in case” person. I want to know if one exists. To this very day just about all of the people I’ve actually had the opportunity to either talk to or correspond with, always had that person is in their life. WOW!!! AND YOU ARE WONDERING WHY YOU ARE STILL SINGLE, HURT OR CAN FIND THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE? Also this could be the reason why your man or woman is distant or really don’t care about what you say or do because he/she can always jump to the “just in case” person.
Just reverse this and tell me how would you feel if the person you are with had that same person in their life as you do? The reason why these relationships are not working is because it can not work with your actions. It’s called dishonesty! It’s called cheating and even thou you may not sleep with this person during your currently relationship, you are still cheating that relationship because you are keep them around, “just in case”.
What if you have a “just in case” job? How would you act on your current job? You know that you will do just enough and wont’ take any stress from anybody on that job. A “just in case” person will definitely keep you from putting in the work in your current relationship. It is the same principle.
Again, in order to have a successful relationship or find the love of your life, you have to be ready and available totally and give it all you have. There can not be anyone else influencing whether or not you will put up with the little difficulties you may experience in your currently relationship. All relationships have issues and if you are running to your ‘just in case” person; you will never have success.
Focus on the relationship you have now and allow nothing else to come between the bond. You will be surprise of what you can create for yourself by being ready and totally available. If you break up, yes, there will be some lonely nights but you will have time to self reflect and prepare yourself for the love of your life and it will be well worth it.