He goes limp during sex and I feel blamed!
He goes limp during sex and blames me!
He can’t get it up and my self-esteem is crushed.
These are some of the comments I often get from women and it is heartfelt.
First, we all know that there are medical reasons why a man can go limp or not get it up. The simple answer is to go to the doctor to resolve this. Again, it should be just that simple. But why won’t a guy go to the doctor about this? Let me share a few reasons.
If a man goes limp and he is getting hard when you are not around (not cheating) but getting aroused, something else is going on. This is the main reason why MOST men will NOT go to the doctor; he is getting hard and aroused and YOU are not around. So he believes that NOTHING is wrong with him. I’ve heard this so many times that it is crazy. But he will NOT say anything about it. Why? He does not want to be accused of cheating or not wanting you.
Ladies, a man going limp during sex is major to him and it SHOULD be more about communications than blame. However, when it comes to sex, everyone seems too sensitive to discuss one of the major reasons why relationships breaks-up and validation cheating starts. I always say that a man’s essence of being and feeling like a man is tied to how hard of an erection he can get. So yes, it must be handled delicately when it comes to his ability or inability to get it up and stay up.
1. Erection Time-Frame. Some guys even in their 30s but especially older ones could have a rock-hard erection that may last up to 30 minutes when aroused. But, if you require foreplay to get YOU ready, it means that he has to put in work. For some guys it means that you were not ready when he is and you did not desire him when was aroused desiring you. Many would go limp during the foreplay or putting in the work process. He would often get angry because in his mind, his hard-on earlier could have pleased you. But he had to put in work to get you ready and it went away. Something could change for him mentally and he could go limp e.g. “She’s never ready…Why do I have to put in all of this work…..” Please understand this: There has to be communication and compromises to discuss this issue with candor.
2. Sexual Position: Your desired position for maximum pleasure can cause him to go limp. Example: Do you like to be on top? Men can go limp in that position at times. It takes a rock-hard erection if a woman wants to be on top otherwise, he would want to turn you over to get it back hard again because men hate losing their erection. Changing position is the key here.
Guys reading this know that if his erection is not rock-hard, his woman won’t be able to be on top without it going limp. However, it doesn’t means that he can NOT make it work from a different position. This again is where communication has to take place. Because we have two issues here: You get your maximum pleasure being on top and he knows this but he wants to stay hard and also know that it can’t stay hard in that position all the time. You may have to change it up a bit, to get him really aroused so that you can get back in the position you desire for maximum pleasure.
I will have a part two for others issues I’ve discovered.